CONFESSION OF A BORN SPECTATOR

                                 [Poem]
                       CONFESSIONS OF A BORN SPECTATOR

With all my heart do I admire
Athletes who sweat for fun or hire,
Who take the field in gaudy pomp.
And maim each other as they romp.
My limp and bashful spirit feeds
On other people's heroic deeds.

                                  Now A runs ninety yards to score
                                  B knocks the champion to the floor.
                                  C risking vertebrae and spine,
                                  Lashes his steed across the line.
                                  You'd think my ego it would please
                                  To swap position with one of these.

Well, ego might be pleased enough,
But zealous athletes play so rough,
They do not ever, in their dealings
Consider one another's feelings.
I'm glad that when my struggle begins
Twixt prudence and ego, prudence wins.

                        Athletes, I'll drink to you or eat with you.
                        Or anything except compete with you.
                        Buy tickets worth your radium.
                        To watch you gamble in a stadium
                        And reasure myself anew
                        That you're not me and I'm not you.(Abridged)

                                           -Ogdam Nash